The First Part
Needless to say, I loved my sabbatical from everything and everyone. Few days in a year to live for yourself is no mean thing. And considering the relief from the vagaries of the grueling fall semester, it was something I could really afford now, even if I questioned myself a hundred times on this regard. No contact with the outer world was a well sought after desire, especially after I mentioned about it here and I am glad that came about in its very own measure. And that meant staying out of social media, loved ones, friends and even the confines of my apartment. All the windows and vents for natural lighting sealed, the soul and the body were ready to go in for cleansing and I did not wish for any kind of intrusion into it. On the quest to clean up the systems, bring out a fresh zeal for life and more importantly, a re-energized self.
The Second Part
It was half-past 11 in the morning. I had woken up late, much to the chill for the sheer joy of it. I switched on the computer and all the networks got connected and I saw her online. She is 15 – a growing girl in her teens, trapped at an age where children generally find it hard confiding matters of their heart to their parents. Or as mothers say, “The age where I lost my baby and she went on to being a completely different girl.” Few minutes into our conversation, I could sense that she was a tad disturbed. Like she was hiding something and wanted to shout it out to the whole world. Her little fingers were seen grasping for the right words, something extremely unusual with her. I knew I had to do it for her sake, for I was aware of it since eternity. After all, she was my little baby and for once, was really looking up to me for help without really saying it out loud. Sensing the urgency on her face, I decided to kill her misery right away. Closed my eyes for a bit, and then went ahead and told her what I had gathered of the situation and my reflections on the same. The kind of reassurance that someone needs when they are faced with decisions in life – holding them to your side, with a promise of being there forever and ever and ever. The ice-breaker that it had turned out to be, worked wonders and lit up her eyes. And that little expression of relief and reassurance on her face at the end – priceless.
The Other Side
I had got misled into doing something, which was clearly not a thing of my ilk. For once, the guilt was so profound that forgiving self and moving on was just not an option anymore. The repercussions haunt me, even as I write this piece. But I am aware that life has to go ahead and not stagnate in the memories of the past. I needed the courage to stand up to life and face it as it comes to me.